Sunday, 22 November 2009

You're lips are saying "Shields Up" but your eyes are saying "A hull breach is imminent" -- A G33ks guide to flirting

...ok there may be a bit of a misrepresentation in the title to this, as it's not REALLY going to be a massive guide to flirting.  Recently I was talking to a friend of mine...obviously not in real life, just on MSN.  I mentioned that I knew a couple of geeky chat up lines, and she asked for one, so I said the above one...and it seems I shocked her a little bit!  I can't remember where I heard the above line, but it got me thinking about other potential chat-up lines that are synonomous with geek.  I've done a bit of research into this and it seems there are far more then I imagined that people have come up with.  I'm gonna just note down a few of my favorites, with a breif explanation of what they actually mean...if needs be (presumably...I don't need to explain the tag line).   Be warned, I don't expect any of these would actually work in real life (unless you did them really ironically...and somehow managed to make the girl laugh...!), and more likely you would end up with a red, hand shaped mark on your cheek!  However they are quite fun!

My first one is a work in progress...and one of my own! Hooray:

You know, if we were in a room on our own right now, and unable to be observed by the outside world, we would almost certainly be locked in a soft gentle kiss
This is my little bit of fun with "Schr√∂dinger's Cat" and quantum mechanics! :o) yay quantum mechanics...!  Now we need to try and make this easy to access, because firstly I am no expert in this field myself, and secondly...well it's quite bizarre, and quite complicated.  Let's talk about this cat shall we, it is a classic thought experiment...in a box we have a cat along with a flask of poison, there is a geiger counter, attached to a hammer, with a piece of radioactive material so small that in the course of an hour it may or may not decay, if it sets off the geiger counter, that will set of the hammer, smashing the poison and killing the cat.  However there is a 50/50 chance of that happening.  The cat is all sealed up in the box, and you are unable to observe what is happening in the box.  According to Quantum Mechanics, after a certain amount of time, the cat would be BOTH alive, and dead at the same time (according to the psi-function of it's wave...).  Essentially quantum mechanics says that when an event can happen several different ways, the probability amplitude for the event is the sum of the probability amplitudes, and until an observation is made they all options occur simultaneously (or...every option happens in alternative "new worlds"...).  Therefore, if myself and a girl, are locked in a room...with no possible observation method, we would almost certainly be kissing, if it was one of the possible outcomes, along with us just having a chat, me getting slapped in the face...and every other possible outcome in that situation...!!

The way that the coherant scattering of light reflects off of the atoms in the skin on your face looks beautiful *insert finisher here....i.e. against the backdrop of the setting sun....or whatever*
Another one I came up with when I was bored on a train journey home...I'm not entirely sure that you would call it a compliment or not, but hell lets go with it!  Essentially coherant scattering of light off of the atoms is how our eyes pick up the detail in someone elses face.  So if the light is scattering coherantly (as opposed to decoherantly) off of a pretty face, you will be able to see and pick up more detail on their face, which could in turn make them look more/less beautiful.  This essentially happens in less then 10^–8 of a second over a area of around a million atoms...in case you're interested!! :o)

I wish I was your derivative, so that I could lie tagent to your curves!
This is a great one, that I found on my research, and maths based too...brilliant.  Put simply, on a graph (with a curve), if you take a ruler, and draw a straight line so that the line only touches the curve on ONE single point.  You can then take that line, turn it into a right angle triangle and work out the slope at that point...however this is not a very accurate way of doing this, because the triangle is quite big.  What we want to do is shrink down the triangle as much as we can...to find out the slope one that curve.  That's where differential geometry comes in.  Essentially, the differential is that exact single point where the line touches the curve...So...if I was your derivative, I would be the point on the graph where the tagent (that line going through the point) is lying on the curve!

I'm attracted to you so strongly scientists are going to have to invent a fifth fundemental force
I quite like this...it made me smile when I read it...pure cheese! It's simple to understand...there are 4 fundemental forces (Gravity, Electromagnatism, The Strong Nuclear Force and The Weak Nuclear Force)...it just plays on the fact that the meaning of attract is different in this sense (emotional/physical...but not actual attracting forces, like in physics!)

I really, really less then 3 you!
Hehe...confusing?  I really, really <3 you! Aww cute :o)

In game theory I study situations where the outcome is the best for both players, now I've just had an idea of a great game I want to involve you in...and don't worry I'll make sure the outcome is GREAT ;-)
This is just a bit of fun really...but it does sort of make sense...but it's not always the case where you're trying to work out a best outcome for all players.  Take for example the classic example of the Mexican Stand-off as a game...here you're just trying to work out how to survive as each of the different players.  Although I think I'm diving into this too quick...game theory is a piece of applied mathematics used in various social sciences (I learned about it when I was doing my business degree...it's useful for economics...and risk analysis).  Game theory attempts to mathematically capture behaviour in strategic situations, in which an individual's success in making choices depends upon the choice of another person.

Tkae for example our mexican stand-off (or a Truel as they are known...as opposed to a Duel...as it involves three).  Each person gets one shot at a time, and the worst shooter (you) is to shoot first at the person immediately to his right, the next person (who is the best shooter insidently), shoots next at the person to his right, and then the last person (second best shooter) will be shooting at you.  What is your best option?

Well as the worst shooter, your best option is to shoot to miss first time.  Why?  Because if you miss him, the best shooter will then take a shot at the guy who is supposed to be shooting at you.  If he is the best shooter you'd expect him to hit that guy...and he'd die.  This means there is no-one to shoot at you, so now it is your turn again, second time you have to shoot to kill (and hope you hit - otherwise you're dead meat!).  If you shoot to kill first time, and you hit the guy, then the second best shooter gets to have a pop at you...not good!

That's a simple example of game theory...but we're just turning it around in this chat up line really...changing the definitions a little bit, being a bit cheeky - and making it fun/jokey/sexual!! :oP

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Anyway that was my bit of fun for you, for today.  I hope you enjoyed it...and if you do decide to try any of those out...please don't blame me if you get kicked in the teeth! It is really just supposed to be a bit of fun! :oP

Much Love to you all!

G33kuk

1 comment:

  1. Heres a good nerdy Harry Potter chat up line:

    "Could I get my basilisk into your chamber of secrets?"

    or a maths one:

    What do you say we go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.

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