Sunday, 22 November 2009

You're lips are saying "Shields Up" but your eyes are saying "A hull breach is imminent" -- A G33ks guide to flirting

...ok there may be a bit of a misrepresentation in the title to this, as it's not REALLY going to be a massive guide to flirting.  Recently I was talking to a friend of mine...obviously not in real life, just on MSN.  I mentioned that I knew a couple of geeky chat up lines, and she asked for one, so I said the above one...and it seems I shocked her a little bit!  I can't remember where I heard the above line, but it got me thinking about other potential chat-up lines that are synonomous with geek.  I've done a bit of research into this and it seems there are far more then I imagined that people have come up with.  I'm gonna just note down a few of my favorites, with a breif explanation of what they actually mean...if needs be (presumably...I don't need to explain the tag line).   Be warned, I don't expect any of these would actually work in real life (unless you did them really ironically...and somehow managed to make the girl laugh...!), and more likely you would end up with a red, hand shaped mark on your cheek!  However they are quite fun!

My first one is a work in progress...and one of my own! Hooray:

You know, if we were in a room on our own right now, and unable to be observed by the outside world, we would almost certainly be locked in a soft gentle kiss
This is my little bit of fun with "Schrödinger's Cat" and quantum mechanics! :o) yay quantum mechanics...!  Now we need to try and make this easy to access, because firstly I am no expert in this field myself, and secondly...well it's quite bizarre, and quite complicated.  Let's talk about this cat shall we, it is a classic thought a box we have a cat along with a flask of poison, there is a geiger counter, attached to a hammer, with a piece of radioactive material so small that in the course of an hour it may or may not decay, if it sets off the geiger counter, that will set of the hammer, smashing the poison and killing the cat.  However there is a 50/50 chance of that happening.  The cat is all sealed up in the box, and you are unable to observe what is happening in the box.  According to Quantum Mechanics, after a certain amount of time, the cat would be BOTH alive, and dead at the same time (according to the psi-function of it's wave...).  Essentially quantum mechanics says that when an event can happen several different ways, the probability amplitude for the event is the sum of the probability amplitudes, and until an observation is made they all options occur simultaneously (or...every option happens in alternative "new worlds"...).  Therefore, if myself and a girl, are locked in a room...with no possible observation method, we would almost certainly be kissing, if it was one of the possible outcomes, along with us just having a chat, me getting slapped in the face...and every other possible outcome in that situation...!!

The way that the coherant scattering of light reflects off of the atoms in the skin on your face looks beautiful *insert finisher here....i.e. against the backdrop of the setting sun....or whatever*
Another one I came up with when I was bored on a train journey home...I'm not entirely sure that you would call it a compliment or not, but hell lets go with it!  Essentially coherant scattering of light off of the atoms is how our eyes pick up the detail in someone elses face.  So if the light is scattering coherantly (as opposed to decoherantly) off of a pretty face, you will be able to see and pick up more detail on their face, which could in turn make them look more/less beautiful.  This essentially happens in less then 10^–8 of a second over a area of around a million case you're interested!! :o)

I wish I was your derivative, so that I could lie tagent to your curves!
This is a great one, that I found on my research, and maths based too...brilliant.  Put simply, on a graph (with a curve), if you take a ruler, and draw a straight line so that the line only touches the curve on ONE single point.  You can then take that line, turn it into a right angle triangle and work out the slope at that point...however this is not a very accurate way of doing this, because the triangle is quite big.  What we want to do is shrink down the triangle as much as we find out the slope one that curve.  That's where differential geometry comes in.  Essentially, the differential is that exact single point where the line touches the curve...So...if I was your derivative, I would be the point on the graph where the tagent (that line going through the point) is lying on the curve!

I'm attracted to you so strongly scientists are going to have to invent a fifth fundemental force
I quite like made me smile when I read it...pure cheese! It's simple to understand...there are 4 fundemental forces (Gravity, Electromagnatism, The Strong Nuclear Force and The Weak Nuclear Force) just plays on the fact that the meaning of attract is different in this sense (emotional/physical...but not actual attracting forces, like in physics!)

I really, really less then 3 you!
Hehe...confusing?  I really, really <3 you! Aww cute :o)

In game theory I study situations where the outcome is the best for both players, now I've just had an idea of a great game I want to involve you in...and don't worry I'll make sure the outcome is GREAT ;-)
This is just a bit of fun really...but it does sort of make sense...but it's not always the case where you're trying to work out a best outcome for all players.  Take for example the classic example of the Mexican Stand-off as a you're just trying to work out how to survive as each of the different players.  Although I think I'm diving into this too theory is a piece of applied mathematics used in various social sciences (I learned about it when I was doing my business's useful for economics...and risk analysis).  Game theory attempts to mathematically capture behaviour in strategic situations, in which an individual's success in making choices depends upon the choice of another person.

Tkae for example our mexican stand-off (or a Truel as they are opposed to a it involves three).  Each person gets one shot at a time, and the worst shooter (you) is to shoot first at the person immediately to his right, the next person (who is the best shooter insidently), shoots next at the person to his right, and then the last person (second best shooter) will be shooting at you.  What is your best option?

Well as the worst shooter, your best option is to shoot to miss first time.  Why?  Because if you miss him, the best shooter will then take a shot at the guy who is supposed to be shooting at you.  If he is the best shooter you'd expect him to hit that guy...and he'd die.  This means there is no-one to shoot at you, so now it is your turn again, second time you have to shoot to kill (and hope you hit - otherwise you're dead meat!).  If you shoot to kill first time, and you hit the guy, then the second best shooter gets to have a pop at you...not good!

That's a simple example of game theory...but we're just turning it around in this chat up line really...changing the definitions a little bit, being a bit cheeky - and making it fun/jokey/sexual!! :oP


Anyway that was my bit of fun for you, for today.  I hope you enjoyed it...and if you do decide to try any of those out...please don't blame me if you get kicked in the teeth! It is really just supposed to be a bit of fun! :oP

Much Love to you all!



Ok, every good geek, or potential geek should know their way around a zombie movie  (and have at least one Zombie plan...if only as a homage to that Red v Blue episode, I have case of Zombie attack!).  I'm not quite sure why specifically this genre of horror/survival horror is so synonomous with geek, but I have a fair idea that the resident evil series of games may have something to do with it.  Now if you aren't massive on Zombie movies, and don't fancy going back to the old skool classics (although I would recommend the "of the dead" series, and Evil Dead trilogy), and you just want to be able to G33k it up out and about on the town this is a great movie to get to know, and be able to talk about.  I would say it's reception in England was kinda quiet really...I don't remember anyone I know going to see it, or at least talking about it afterwards (oh and as a warning - if you do go out on the town and people are chatting about this, you will also need to have seen Shaun of the Dead, as a point of reference...that will be talked about also!!)...

So I have recently had this as my personal viewing pleasure... as usual this is your SPOILER WARNING...just in case I give too much away...

Personally I thought this was GREAT, a great Zombie movie, with some great comedy in their as well!  There's some really lovely ideas in their as touches that bring about some real loveliness in this film...although  I wasn't personally too thrilled with the whole "teeny-bop" American "geek meets hot girl" love's starting to get a bit cliché now.  Although maybe the only chance I'd have of getting a girl that hot is if we were the last 5 people left after a massive Zombie infestation...but that's not the point!

I really love the whole ongoing idea throughout the film of the "rules" that Columbus (Jesse Eisenberg) lives was a great opening to bring these in, and a great bit of tongue waggling at the clichés of some of the classic zombie movies!  Number 1: Cardio (when the virus struck, for obvious reasons the first ones to go...were the fatties!!), Number 2: Double Tap (in those moments when you're not sure the undead are really dead, don't get all stingy with your more clean shot to the head!), (Don't let them catch you with your pants down) Number 3: Beware of Bathrooms!  I'm not going to go through each rule within this film and say what it relates to, but as you can no doubt guess, all the classic zombie movies have people who aren't fast enough...who get eaten in a toilet...and even you surely remember the results of not making sure you killed that zombie in the resident evil games...he'd start knawing on your ankles until you kicked his head off!  I also like "Always check the back seat"!! These rules are littered throughout the movie, and pop up here and there.  It's always quite fun when they come out!

Later on in the movie Columbus teams up with rock-hard redneck Tallahassee (Woody Harrelson)...Now I love Woody, and he is great in this movie.  He is a zombie killing machine...however he is pipped to the post for Zombie kill of the week by a very clever nun!!  Which brings me to this, there is some REALLY lovely zombie killing in this movie, whether it is shooting them all up with a uzi (and then squishing them all up with a SUV...for the double tap!), to ringing the bell outside a shop...waiting for the zombie to come running out and then blowing it's head clean off, to the Zombie Kill of the Week...there is some really nice stuff!  Anyway, Tallahassee doesn't seem to have a massive plan on what to do or where to fact it seems his main aim is to just get a twinkie!  So the two of them stop at a supermarket (I liked the little tipping of hat to Deliverence here as well)...where they meet up with the two girls.

After much...side plots, all 4 of them team up, and go to Bill Murray's house!!  Bill Murray has a nice Cameo part in this film, but I do love that guy so much!! I think he's ace!! :oD  The girl's plan was to go to Pacific Playland...a theme park in America...lord knows why.  After a night in Bill Murray's house, the girls get up sneak off to Pacific Playland ("That place mind" - Tallahassee...Lolz!)...and then there ends up a massive shootout etc in the themepark (with yet more and more awesome Zombie deaths!!)

This film all in all is GREAT fun...different to Shaun of the Dead, more typically American humour...less subtle, more in your face kinda stuff...but REALLY REALLY fun and probably as good, if not better!  It's a definate must see for all fans of the Zombie movies, all fans of comedy movies, and all geeks!!  The acting is great, the scripting is great, there's some fun graphics, some brilliant'll have you in stitches, and terrified all at the same time!!

Please, please don't miss this movie! It's fab...!

Muchos Love, and Peace out!


Sunday, 8 November 2009

Standard Nerd: The Inner Sanctum

Ok...this might be a bit of a mistake to post...but I thought I'd give you guys a quick tour of my bedroom! I figure it's a good point of reference, just in case you're slightly worried that you too may be a massive geek..! I would say if you relate with more then half of this kinda thing you are well on your way to being a nerd/geek and should be proud.

Be aware that this is what a girl would first see, if I ever managed to get them back to my bedroom...if they stuck around I would be pretty impressed...!

We'll start with piccie 1:

Picture 1 is of my the moment this is what it looks like (however the laptop parts tend to stay hidden under my bed).  Now I'm by no means a massive fact this is the first laptop I've tried to fix.  It is having a power jack issue, so I'm currently taking it apart in the hope of fixing it.  If that's not possible...or too much effort, I might see if I can have some fun with the spare parts...I'm pretty sure I could use the screen, rejig it so I can use it as a spare VGA for my laptop at the moment! It'd be pretty cool to have a duel screen working environment!! :oDDD

Picture 2, is the emergency would I be able to take stuff apart without it?! Exactly...that bad boy got my broken laptop all apart as well!

Ok...picture 3 is a couple of my shelves...I've lettered it to help me get through this part it would be hard work otherwise...

A: This is my Umbrella Corporation wristband...if you don't know who Umbrella corp are, you need to play more survival horror games! ;o)
B: This is my small collection of Manga comics...I don't have a lot of money to collect so I only get things on offer etc.  I currently have all 3 Princess Ai, all 3 I Luv Halloween, all 3 Cowboy Bebop, a couple of Battle Vixens...the first 5 Battle Royale...and a couple more
C: This is an old Birthday card which I got sent from Japan by my sister.  It's cute, it has a squid on the front and then you open it up and there's a little squid inside (on a spring), that's sat on a griddle tray.  My sister's friend translated the message.  It says "Happy Birthday!  Please let me say a word.  You...doing squid!" idea what that's all about
D: This is my Muppet's collection....
E: This is just DVD's and PS2 games
F: More DVD's on this shelf...just to let you know the kind of things which I have...Lord of the Rings - extended editions, Star Wars original Trilogy, Back to the Future Trilogy, some of the Star Trek movies, Serenity, all the Tarrentino stuff, the Matrix trilogy, Firefly TV Series, Aeon Flux cartoon series, Final Fantasy VII Advent Children, X-Men Trilogy, Resident Evil Trilogy...and loads of other stuff (Hitchcocks, Monty Pythons, some Asian Stuff...Battle Royale 1&2, loadsa Takeshi Kitano stuff...)
G: That is a NDS game from Japan...
H: Every geek has spools of CDs all over the place....I have about 5 over the bedroom!
I: A cricket ball!

Top Shelf...a lot of books and stuff, quite a lot are my law books though!

More law books....on top of my wardrobe though this time...all my shelves are full up!

My other book may be able to spot the Harry Potters, but there's loadsa other fantasy stuff there too.  Also I have some Beano/Dandy Annuals...ummm graphic novels...and Fresh Fruits, you should check that book out if you have's a book of photo's of the Japanese all dressed up crazy! It's cool...oh and my beautiful PS2...!

And finally, my Fairy...she even has a garland now...which is what is above the box....her name is Lexi and she's a Rock Hard Fairy!  She's the only Rock Hard Fairy I own, but I think they're pretty cool, I wouldn't mind more (if you want to get me a present!! ;o)))) )

Well that's it anyway...a small insite into the world of a g33k! I hope you enjoyed that! I decided it seem that everyone loves a sneaky peek into the lives of others (hence the reason Heat, Hello! and OK magazine doing so well!), now I'm no celeb, but I have some interesting bits and bobs lying around....

Oh and don't forget that if you have a lot of that kinda stuff lying around you too are a geek! Congratulations...

Muchos Luvos!


Girl Number 9...a review

Sorry posts are sporadic at the moment, it's a busy time for me, but I'll keep updating as and when I have time.  Keep coming back guys, and thanks for all the support.

Right,  the "Girl Number 9" mini-series found at has now finished and these are my general feeling about it.

I'll start with a brief overview of the full program so there may be some spoilers warned (but I won't go into too much detail).

Essentially the cops have caught a child killer, and they are in the process of interrogation, and trying to get enough proof to send the guy to prison for a long time.  During the initial interrogation, the guys gives them details of a website, and a special code for them to plug into the site.  Upon doing so the website starts streaming a video of a girl in a warehouse somewhere, all chained up, with a timer counting down.  The idea of the story is whether or not the cops will find them in time...sort of (but I don't want to give too much away!)

So what do I think about this series?  All in all it was pretty good, and I'd definately recommend anybody to give it a watch, especially since it isn't a massive waste of time.  Each episode is ranges from about 3 - 6 minutes in length so watching the full 6 episodes only takes about half an hour.  The acting is great, Garath David-Lloyd was truely great to watch, and OMG Joe Absolom who played the child killer was truely brilliant, absolutely terrifying, aboslutely believable, truely was a masterful performance.  You can't just rely on good acting for this kind of thing though, you really need the scripting to be spot on, and I will tell you the scripting was truely marvellous!

For once though, I'm not saying just truely positives about something I'm reviewing...I actually have a few negative points to tell you.  When a "series" is so short, it's easy to get problems that just stick out like a sore thumb...even if they aren't massive problems.  The opening minute of the first episode annoyed me a little bit, too much unnecessary swearing.  Also the episodes were too short really...I think maybe 10 minutes per episode would have been fine really, but the problem with a 3 or 5 minute episode is that you'll just be getting into it, when it stops.  It doesn't REALLY give you enough time to get emotionally integrated with the plot, if it is finishing as soon as you get any kind emotive response...

Oh and just briefly, as for's not entirely original an idea.  It definately (well to me) seems to just be a bit of a mixture between the original Saw movie, and the movie Untraceable...not that that's necessarily a bad thing, it's just worth mentioning really.

Finally, I'm not going to give the ending away, but the final episode (number 6) fell a bit flat for me.  The 1st 5 episodes were...more or less, great, and then the final episode was ust a bit disappointing really, and I think that's a shame.  The ending should have been really emotional, or exciting...or anything really, and it just sort of...petered off, and that just disappointed me.

All in all the the series was pretty good, and because of it's length, it is definately worth a watch.  It's still available to stream from  The "play" section should also be up and running soon as well...which could be quite fun!

Anyhow...hopefully you've enjoyed the update, and I will try and do another one shortly! And if you watch Girl Number 9 I hope you enjoy it!

Muchos Luvos!